So many posts lie incomplete as drafts, that it saddens me how many wonderful experiences I still have to share, just not enough time and patience to shape a post.
Soon after the last update, I landed a job in the new land – that of a content writer, and that partly explains why I’m vary of writing and updating my blog in my spare time. Nevertheless, here I am back to blogging, and I will share this sweet little experience with you today.
After having moved to Dubai from Mumbai, I now live with the husband and new family consisting of adorably supportive parents, and a shy but sweet brother-in-law.
During a recent conversation with the grandmother back home, she mentioned how she prays that the brother-in-law gets married soon. At least I’ll have a ‘companion’ she said.
The grandmother probably had concerns over me being the only girl my age in the house, and with no real girl friends yet to speak of, it would be nice to have a peer – to share the work and naughty secrets.
To this wish, I laughed off saying, “Hell no! I’m happy to be the only pampered one!”
The conversation ended after a few minutes of face-palming and eye rolling by the granny, but I didn’t regret what I said one bit. Let me explain.
A newly wed lady, in my opinion is pretty much like a new born.
In many Indian subcultures I know, women not only move over to their husband’s home to start a new life, but also go to the extent of changing not just their surnames, but also their first names! They believe that, with marriage, a woman is reborn.
However, in my case, I have thankfully assumed the role of a daughter and sister they never had, and being a new addition to the family – I’m pretty much treated like a pampered new-born.
Of course, the role of a wife and daughter-in-law comes with expectations and responsibilities. But the advantage of being a newly-wed is that your mistakes are forgiven because, well,
1. You’re new, and they’re awkward.
2. You are probably still missing your home, and doing things the way you did them back there. And most importantly,
3. You’re the baby of the house, and they still need to mould you into their lifestyle, and their way of doing things.
So, as a newly wed, you learn from scratch the new family, and are introduced to friends one by one. And just like a baby is at first reluctant with new acquaintances, you, too take your time and choose who to open up to.
You learn each persons tastes, their likes and dislikes, and how to talk. Some people will behave like old friends, even if they’re your father’s age, and there will be some who you simply cannot bullshit – although they’re the same age as you are.
You learn how to walk (sometimes the hard way). Yes, I said walk.
Coming from a basic home with regular furniture, into a house with expensive showcases, it becomes important to mind your clumsy feet and careless hands. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that initially I would walk slowly around the house, avoiding corners and furniture for the fear of dropping something. I’m still obsessive about checking if I have turned off the light in the bathroom. I sometimes get nightmares about it, tip-toe while everyone’s asleep, just to check if I made no mistake!
Yes, the baby learns how to take care of things, of feelings, of relationships.
In the last 9 months since marriage and the new home, I do realize that I have changed a lot from what I used to be. More responsible, more polite, more mindful.
Though there are still some rough edges that I aim to smooth – but until the sister-in-law comes along, I’m loving every bit of being the baby of the house!